Shit on my hands

BB

Has anyone ever seen an episode of the Ellen DeGeneres talk show? Pfft, I don’t know why I’m even bothering to ask; if you had, you wouldn’t be reading this – you’d have stuck your head in an oven already. I had the privilege of spending a week in hospital recently (I mean this sincerely – I love hospitals) which gave me time to reflect on a number of weighty issues, and also to watch the Ellen show. Given this is a parenting blog, I’ll spare you my thoughts on death, desire, Tony Abbott (did I really just put the words ‘desire’ and ‘Tony Abbott’ next to each other?),  and  stick to baby shit, so to speak. My room was on the same ward as the maternity patients, so in my less piss weak moments, where movement was an option, I allowed myself to shuffle down the hall and indulge in some lusty baby gawking., which in turn lead to reflections on birthing. Which in turn led me back to the question I ask myself, and anybody who will listen, over and over. WHY WHY WHY is it anyone’s business how a woman chooses to give birth? I would never ask another girl why she chose to have an abortion, and it’s not because I’m a stickler for propriety. Simple equation to me - it’s her body, her life, her baby, and it affects approximately no one but her and the father of the child. Most people would agree on that one I’m sure (no, not you Tony A, I know YOU don’t agree) So why is it open season on birth? Why do we think it’s ok to pressure expectant women to birth the way we see fit? It irks me like nobodies business, not least because I had an elective c-section and have spent the past 19 months justifying it to all and sundry. Some of my motives have been deemed acceptable – chronic health issues, namely – others – don’t want my fanny ripped to shreds, don’t want a new arsehole, thanks, scared of dying, scared of baby going into distress and of my ability to cope with news baby is in distress, possibility that baby will wind up being born via c-section anyway after harrowing labor experience – are not.  I’m too posh to push, I’m copping out, I’m doing my baby a terrible disservice, I’m missing out on the most empowering experience a woman can have , yadda yadda yadda. I’m a foolish cowardly twit. While I don’t dispute the twit bit, I fail to see why my decision is one that  gets so many people so thoroughly razzed up. Last I checked, I wasn’t time-sharing my womb or vagina with anyone else. It’s mine and no one else’s and I’ll do what I want with it. And you can do what you like with yours. I understand the debate over surging intervention and c-section rates and  wholeheartedly agree it needs vigorous discussion, but ladies, can we please cut each other some slack in the birthing suite?