Shit on my hands

Another delightful shitful anecdote from one of our followers (understandably she’s staying anonymous to protect family members!): 

Our twins were born 10 weeks early. They were soo small. and part of being so small is have a small bum hole!! Anyway, our littlest twin at the time had a habit of not being able to pass what went in very well. We are talking like 2-3 weeks he would go without being able to poo and for days before it came out he wasn’t a happy camper. So when it did happen it was HUGE and it stank like stagnant water ( i guess that was what it was) and it was the colour and texture of Irish moss lollies! (See above pic)
We had a family gathering at our house this one night and he hadnt pooped for 3 weeks at this stage. Anyway right on cue in the middle of the party, he finally let it out!
My hubby being the super hero he is, decided that he would take care of his nappy, so he took him off to the nursery to change him.
My mother-in-law saw where he was going, and decided to come along for the nappy change as well. My husband used about 100 wipes to clean the green tar off baby’s bum so it was Huggies fresh again. However, baby had not finished his dump, had he. My mother-in-law saw a cute clean bum and for some warped reason decided to kiss it just as he let rip with the second part of his crap. She copped a full on turd in the mouth!!! 

All we saw and heard from the other room where the party was going was my mother-in-law running to the bathroom, dry wretching and my hubby laughing his arse off still with the baby. She hurled her guts up like you have never heard before and from that day onwards has never lived it down.